Love

Do you ever feel like you care/love "too much".

"I love too much" - isn't that a silly phrase?

But, sincerely, if you don't love too much, are you loving enough?

Happiness vs. Pleasure

I've recently begun reading "The Art of Happiness".

The book itself is a conglomeration of speeches the Dalai Lama has given, talks he has had with the books author (a Western psychologist), and the psychologist's thoughts on the question of "what makes people happy?".

While I'm not comfortable mind-vomiting at length on the topic, yet, I would like to pose the question to whomever comes across this blog:

What is the difference between happiness and pleasure, to you?  Is that difference important? Do you find yourself more often pursuing one over the other and do you think it has affected your overall outlook on life?

So far, I've come to believe that there is a great, and possibly grave, difference between happiness and pleasure. Too often I find myself thinking "Oh, that will make me happy", when really, it is a simple thing of pleasure. That extra delicious and gooey chocolate chip cookie that came out of the oven after I've already had 2....pleasure.  That expensive beer that I've been dying to try? Pleasure.

So what is happiness, then?

A friend of mine hypothesized something about this topic that I think could very well be true. Happiness isn't in the accomplishment, happiness is in the process. (Thanks Margaret, I'll tell you more in the letter back!)

I agree because of situations such as this: when I graduated from college, did it bring me "great happiness"? Honestly, no. When I graduated college I didn't feel much. What about the process of learning throughout high school and college? I look back on that, and when I was stretching my mind, that was a time that I was quite happy.

Margaret brought up the concept of cooking/baking food. She and I think similarly on this matter and both sincerely enjoy the process that goes into making the food, almost as much as we enjoy eating/tasting it!

When I examine my current career, I continue to think that this may be true.  I am happiest when I am in the process of teaching. My job is a very "do-ing" oriented job, and I think that's a great reason why I love it. I love watching and encouraging the process of learning amongst my students.  I also get great pleasure from their post-assessments and seeing how much they have learned, but not nearly as much as I get day-to-day.

I don't think that we can really recognize happiness until we look back on it. In the moment, I think it appears more as contentment and then people get afraid that they are settling.  Humans, for some odd reason, seem to love drama.  Humans tend to like to fight the Tao concept of Wu-wei.....and perhaps that's okay. Perhaps the process of fighting the status quo makes some people happy, but once the battle is over and they've made their point - do they continue to be satisfied?

Like I said, elementary brain goo.  Still working on it. Also working on getting ready for bed, good night!

Best,

Hypocrisy

"Go put your creed into your deed.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson"

In other words, friends, actions speak louder than words. Or, perhaps, we should back up all of our talk with actions.

Let me begin by stating outright that I fully acknowledge that I am a hypocrite, and that even in writing this, I am increasing my hypocrisy tenfold.

But I try, so very hard, to not be a hypocrite. 

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people say one thing, and do another. When they profess to living the lifestyle of one personality, and actually live the lifestyle of the exact opposite.

(Like I said, guilty as charged).

I get annoyed with drivers who are driving recklessly quickly,

but in turn, if I am in a hurry, do the same thing.

(Which begs the question of "Why do we hurry?" and "What's wrong with arriving precisely when you are meant to (like a wizard)?"....to be discussed at a later date, I would suppose).

And sometimes I catch myself and say "Well, Andrea, they could be on to a VERY important meeting, or perhaps someone is sick, or perhaps this....perhaps that...."

And then my inner gut says "Yes, and you know what excuses are like."

Unacceptable for most part. On all grounds. I should be more tolerant because I should love them and feel compassion for them because they are a living being. They should slow down because they should love and feel compassion for other individuals, and because there are very few things in this world that truly warrant rushing.

(If Nathan reads this, he knows how unbelievably hypocritcal I am being right now, I'm the queen of punctuality and untimeliness tends to drive me insane.)

Or, perhaps the hypocrisy that kills me the most, and the one that caused me to seriously reflect upon my personal beliefs/philosophies/religious understandings.

Back log, for those who know me, skip the next two paragraphs.

 
I work at a coffee shop in my home town, and we get a variety of customers. Everyone from the pre-teen who is testing out their new found driving skills and freedom by meeting up with friends, to the middle aged mom catching a coffee between children's activities, to the loner old man who loves nothing more than "A 12oz coffee, blueberry muffin, heat it up please with some butter and plastic fork, and a glass of water with plenty of ice" - Every.Single.Morning.  

One significant group of customers that we cater to is the religious group. (Ie: Pastors, their wives, their congregation, their bible study groups, the individual doing a personal bible study, etc).  I bear no bad bones about this people. I think the fact that they are trying to truly understand what they believe is incredible, and I wish more individuals did something like that.

Everyone back with me?

Alright.

So it's that latter group that I see daily, the religious individuals, that cause me the most hypocritical angst.  We have some folks that come in daily, daily, or perhaps even multiple times a day and order expensive drinks.

Awesome for business.

But how are all of their congregation members doing financially?

There is a lot of hidden poverty in the city I live in, and I find it hard to believe that the hundreds of dollars they spend every month at the coffee shop couldn't be better redirected to someone who needs the help more. And all of the time they spend just hanging out at a coffee shop? It could also probably be much better redirected.

Within this group, there are also a lot of older, wealthier individuals (often female), that preach to being awesome Christians. Yes, them. With their pounds of makeup, lots of jewelry, fancy Coach bag ("No it's not a knockoff! It's original!").  They, who treat the staff at the coffee shop like underlings. Like indentured servants to their caffeinated desires. These are the people that caused me to truly question my religious understandings. To look around while sitting in Mass and see more people with more things than they will ever need, wearing ridiculous things that they don't need, coated in cologne/perfume that is just causing everyone else around them to gag throughout the entire service, because they want to smell nice.

You see, my problem is that it is very ego-centric. The understanding of religion, specifically Christianity, in this area.  Everything is fine and dandy and "Our God is an Awesome God - As-Long-As-I-Can-Keep-Driving-My-Escalade-To-Get-My-Nails-Done". 

It kills me. 

I grew up Catholic. I went through a Catholic school system and got a very good education (if a bit biased). I am undeniably grateful for the opportunities presented to me by my parents and the sacrifices they made. 

But with this education, I've learned a lot about what the figurehead, Jesus, preached in a way of a lifestyle.

Here, want a good idea, let's start with the Beatitudes and move from there to the Ten Commandments.

Anyway you slice it. These individuals aren't even close to following the core, the essence, of their belief system. The moment they talk down to a staff member at the shop because the drink isn't just right, they've strayed. 

My big question is then, do they repent?

Unfortunately, I think the attitude of "I get what I want" is so inherent in society and the culture, especially around here, that it doesn't seem wrong.

But remember, I, too, am a hypocrite.

But I acknowledge it.

And I work on it daily.

Because to be a hypocrite is the biggest annoyance in my life right now, and it will be for the rest of my life. But perhaps, because I am trying to be better. Because I am making a sincere, dedicated effort to improve my existence, I can say that yes, I am a hypocrite, but I am a progressive hypocrite, working to change and improve daily.