But that's okay. I know that Buddhists really support being the the present, and that's something that I'm trying to work on (really, I am!). For example, this morning when I was brushing my teeth, I took time to really realize how different parts of my body were feeling. That toe I kicked into the wall a week ago? Not as painful, but it's hard to put shoes on sometimes (especially my favorite tennis shoes). My sinuses? They feel like there's a balloon under them, slowly expanding (thanks to my students, I suspect).
It's a good way to get both outside of yourself and inside of yourself. Outside of your ego and desire to plan and inside of your body and how you are really feeling.
Currently, my sinuses still feel like they're going to bust.
Even with that mindset, I can't help but get excited for the future....if all goes according to what I'd like to see happen.
I have applied to graduate school for next fall to get my Masters in K-12 Music Curriculum and Instruction. I've been told that getting in to the graduate school here isn't difficult, and that I would probably get in...which is great! The program should take about 5 semesters to complete, but if I did summers too, I could get it done quite a bit sooner. So, let's just say that puts me another 2-3 years in Bozeman.
From there, I'd like to start looking at Doctoral programs around the nation. I love Bozeman. It's a beautiful place to live. But I don't know that this is my forever place. It could be, I could not be. I'm not entirely sure. But it's a great place for right now. Hopefully I can get in to a good Doctoral program (meaning I need to work my ass off on my Masters) and start also teaching Undergraduate Education courses. I think there's a big flaw in the education system today and a lot of it stems from not having a rigorous and involved Undergraduate Education degree requirement. Not that all Education Programs are bad, that's not what I'm saying! I'm saying that there is too much busy work and not enough synthesizing and higher level thinking going on in those classes.
From there, I want to do research in education (and thus, publish), teach, and hopefully start getting involved politically. There are a lot of people that are making laws about education that have never been in a classroom...and there's something wrong with that. We don't let people not involved in the military make decisions about military actions, why should we do so for education? I'd love to be an advisor on educational policy and practice.
Oh...and somewhere in there, I'd love to invest some money into buying land (when I find my "forever" home) and start a small CSA/farm. Hopefully, I could do it similar to what Dean at Three Hearts Farm is doing and invite local schools to come and learn about food and agriculture in an experiential way. My students were out there yesterday and they absolutely loved it. I think having that hands on experience is critical to developing a true understanding of the world around us (hence why I teach music).
But, as always, this is completely up to adjustment...it has to be. There were no plans in there for my personal life, because, well...you just can't plan that. It seems like every time you do, something happens and it just doesn't work. I feel that, if I pursue my passions and interests, I'll probably meet someone along the way who feels similarly and perhaps it will work out.
And, if not....there's always Koda.
Life is full of surprises, and as long as one respects them and understands that they don't really have control over anything, I think life has the tendency towards beauty.