tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13845675675001080662024-03-14T02:29:28.222-07:00A Set of CircumstancesMental Meanderings.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-64849365702851536802015-04-26T13:27:00.001-07:002015-04-26T13:27:24.545-07:00Quick, Personal, Gentle ReminderDear Andrea -<br />
<br />
You love researching things.<br />
You love analyzing data that you've collected.<br />
You love writing papers explaining what you've found and hoping that someone will refute it so that you have to research further.<br />
<br />
But you always procrastinate and it always kicks your butt.<br />
Look, you're doing it now.<br />
<br />
If you want that dream job of educator/researcher, you've gotta stick on the track and not get distracted by all of the things that Montana has to offer you. Sure, enjoy them. But don't spend all your time doing those things so that you reach a stale spot in your career and can't move forward.<br />
<br />
Alright. Back to writing.<br />
Best,Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-52512115479783137472015-03-10T13:54:00.000-07:002015-03-10T13:54:28.697-07:00So Passes 7 Months.7 months later (since my last post). Wow. Multitudes of things have happened in such a short amount of time.<br />
<br />
The first trimester of the year was a challenge. But that's not to say that it was a challenge because of having the utilize an unfamiliar curriculum or learn students' names or even develop a classroom management style/technique.<br />
<br />
No. The beginning of the year was a challenge because I was teaching music without a classroom. Looking back on it now, I can't help but shake my head. I honestly can't figure out how some music teachers teach without a classroom year round. I tip my hat to them.<br />
<br />
There were struggles beyond not having my own space to set up and manage. Certain things that I was able to do with my students last year, I couldn't this year. It was harder to do games (I strongly believe in learning through games, so most of my lessons incorporate a song/activity). My students' regular classrooms are well set up, but not conducive to jogging/skipping/hopping/lunging/walking/stomping/marching/etc.<br />
<br />
I couldn't bring the instruments I wanted the students to use with me everywhere. Some were too bulky, some were in storage (guhh), and some were set aside in the psuedo-band room and unobtainable. <br />
<br />
But, for me, the hardest part was not having a place where I could decompress in between teaching. As much as I love my coworkers (and I really, really do. They all inspire me and push me to be a better educator every day) - I cannot reboot and maintain the necessary level of energy if I don't have some alone time to process. It's part of being an introvert in a very social job. Love my career. Love my reboot time.<br />
<br />
I couldn't give before and after school lessons, so students that struggled had no access to me for one-on-one work. I admire the fortitude of my 5th graders, because they are doing surprisingly well for having a very constrained beginning. Love those kids.<br />
<br />
But, remember, that was just the beginning.<br />
Then there was the Christmas Program....which went well....so I'm not going to say anything more about that. I'm thankful for all of the help I received and the flexibility of my colleagues in making sure we could do a quick rehearsal the day of the concert.<br />
<br />
Then Christmas Break.<br />
Then Big Sky.<br />
Then a trip home!<br />
<br />
Second trimester - back in my room - has been a beautiful, beautiful thing. Students are signing up for lessons left and right (I normally have someone every morning and someone every evening, not counting my own studio). Students come in just to chat! I'm forming bonds with these kids that I think we both felt we needed, but couldn't access.<br />
<br />
Two weeks ago, I was in Seattle, WA for the Little Flower Yoga Teacher Conference - Level One. It was a fantastic trip that involved eating good food, drinking good coffee, and meeting beautiful people. Beyond that, I was able to catch up with folks that I haven't seen in nearly 6 years. Thank goodness for the connections that technology can make and sustain!<br />
<br />
And now it's Spring Break and I'm sitting at Gil's Goods in Livingston after a morning spent outside enjoying the area that I get to live in. How lucky am I? Sometimes (this morning was just one of them), I wake up and cannot believe how fortunate I have been. I was raised in a family that taught me the value of education, supported me in my goals and dreams, didn't drop me like a hot potato when I was a sucky person, and has continued to support me from 808 miles away. <br />
<br />
Can You Believe We're Alive?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-37668384625818670562014-08-24T19:09:00.002-07:002014-08-24T19:09:26.256-07:00Traveling - and All the Joys It BringsHello!<br />
<br />
For the past week and a half, I have been away from home in various forms.<br />
<br />
I've been away from home to go home.<br />
Wherein, I spent a week back with my family in SoDak and really enjoyed the time. I was able to see good friends, eat good food (the best, of course, being Mom's cooking), and completely forget about the responsibilities that come with living in Montana.<br />
<br />
I love going back to SD. It allows me to remember and appreciate how incredible my family and upbringing was, while simultaneously allowing me to treasure where I live currently. There are things that I don't miss about South Dakota - the main one of which is the humidity. But I do miss seeing such familiar faces all the time. However, that is changing in my new home and all the time I'm seeing more and more people I recognize daily.<br />
<br />
I've been away from home after a trip home heading back home but stuck because of truck troubles.<br />
This scenario allowed me to recognize the worth of my friendship with a good friend of mine who was traveling with me. There are very (very!) few other people with whom I could be stuck along the side of the road and not get annoyed with. I attribute it to our history as friends, and also to our understanding of each other.<br />
<br />
And to his Mom, who wisely gave us a bag of food to eat. If I'm hungry, I'm crabby. This prevented that.<br />
<br />
I've been away from my new home to go and witness a friend in his new home with his new beautiful bride.<br />
I loved this trip. I got to spend quality time with good friends that I haven't seen in a while. I also got to know previous acquaintances to a greater extent, which I think is always good. We ate, we drank, we danced, we talked, we laughed laying in the grass under a tree, we sat quietly in the car because we were hungry, we yelled in the car because it was funny.<br />
We appreciated life, and I feel like that's such a special gift.<br />
<br />
My brother said that I only post when something isn't right or when I'm upset about something. Well, Derek, this post is not that! I am so thankful for the past week and a half. I feel ready to start the school year with all the challenges that will come. <br />
<br />
But right now, mostly, I'm ready to stop staring at grey speckled walls and get out of this airport.<br />
There's snow in the mountains in Montana. I'm ready to XC ski.<br />
<br />
Best,<br />
AAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-46242633658874618372014-05-11T13:04:00.000-07:002014-05-11T13:04:31.765-07:00Teaching Year #2 - In the Books (almost)!It's May.<br />
<br />
You know, the time of year that, when you were between 5 - 22 years old meant summer break.<br />
<br />
And, because I chose to be an educator, it has continued to mean that. Sure, summer break has morphed in meaning over time. <br />
<br />
When I was in elementary school, it meant summer care, camps, and softball/soccer. <br />
<br />
In middle school, it meant staying home or using my bike to get from place to place during the day and softball at night. <br />
<br />
In high school, it meant a summer job (or two, or three), hanging out with friends, going on "adventures" around the area, and expanding my wings. It also meant scoring some extra class credits towards graduation. Short explanation: because I was so involved in the arts in HS, the only way I could fit in all the required credits to graduate was through taking some courses during the summer. My school was not one where summer school was meant only for the kids that were falling behind. It also applied to kids that just wanted to <i>learn more</i>.<br />
<br />
In college, summer break was surprisingly similar to HS summer break. Summer job, hanging out with friends, maybe a few classes, and adventures. Only, at this point in time, the adventures were, well, adventurous. <br />
<br />
Now, I'm a teacher. I still get summer breaks. The breaks are still similar to my summer breaks from HS and College...with a few minor differences. I'm actually living somewhere that, everyday, an adventure is only 30 minutes away on a hike. I am still working a part time summer job, but it's with more autonomy than I've ever been given for a part time job. I still ride my bike to meet up with friends. I am still taking classes (towards that ever looming goal of the Masters).<br />
<br />
But I've also got one more thing on my docket during the summers now. Reflection.<br />
<br />
Sure, when I was in HS and College I reflected on the previous year...but not in the same way. <br />
<br />
Now, during the summers, I think about all of the students that I taught over the past year. Who I reached and positively affected, and who slipped between the cracks and how I'm going to catch them next year. I also think, and worry, about the students who have less than awesome home lives. Summer isn't a relaxing time for them, and that's not fair. <br />
<br />
I think about all of the lesson plans that went well, and the ones that need some serious loving if I'm going to get them to be effective next school year.<br />
<br />
I think about the programs and concerts I need to plan. I think about the funds that need to be raised if I'm going to get the supplies my students need to successfully learn about music.<br />
<br />
A lot of people say "Oh, you're a teacher, well, you get paid less because you get all summer off."<br /><br />But that's not really true. Not at all. <br />
<br />
If you think about all the time I spend reflecting on the past year and planning for the next year, I easily work 60 hour weeks during the school year, and 40 hour weeks during the summer. This doesn't mean I'm always tied to a desk and "working". Some of my best lesson ideas have hit me while I was out on a hike with Koda. It's the idea that my job, just like all other educators, doesn't ever leave me. It's a job where you "take it home". Every day, whether or not you saw your students, it follows you. This can be great and not so great.<br />
<br />
The fact that I'm thinking about school on a Sunday while sitting in a coffee shop is a perfect example of what I'm talking about. <br />
<br />
Year #2 was a blast. That was what this post was originally supposed to be all about. I love teaching and this year has been so much more affirming of that love than Year #1, I'm positively giddy for next year.<br />
<br />
But I am excited for the re-boot time this summer.<br />
<br />
Best,<br />A<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-88006435314297529902014-05-06T08:33:00.001-07:002014-05-06T08:33:05.637-07:00Awmigod a revelation<a href="http://www.eberhardtsmith.com/stop-saying-i-have-a-boyfriend" target="_blank">Why I don't need to use "having a boyfriend" as an excuse. </a><br />
<br />
I'm saving this to read whenever I feel defeated.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-44561409502061559762014-03-12T12:10:00.001-07:002014-05-04T12:36:29.942-07:00Oh hey, I'm a consumer too!I have been working in the service industry since I was 14 years old. Even now, as a part-time music teacher (arguably also a service industry), I am still working part-time in a bakery as "the-girl-at-the-counter". I prefer the phrase "presenter of pastries".<br />
<br />
Over the years, I have had a lot of time to watch people interact with each other <i>and</i> with the people behind the counter. I've watched wealthier older folks and younger folks, mothers and fathers coaching their kids in the art of placing an order, overly affectionate (like, gross PDA) couples and first dates. I've seen break-ups and marriage proposals. You can say that I've seen a lot of different scenarios play out.<br />
<br />
I've also had momentary interactions with all of those people. Every. Single. One. <br />
<br />
Because, I am the girl that has made your white mocha with extra syrup, soy milk, and extra foam latte. I've been one of the first people to talk to you in the morning before you've gone in to work and one of the last people to talk to you before you head home at the end of the day to your family.<br />
<br />
I've been the one that has had to say "Sorry, there is a $5.00 minimum on all credit card purchases". After which I get a happy smile while you search for cash or purchase something else, or I hear a complaint followed by, "Well, you must not want my business then". <br />
<br />
I've been the girl that is busy trying to sweep and mop after hours so I can get home to my walk my dog when you come banging on the door asking if you can "please-just-buy-one-thing-quick". I've also been the one to have been told "you know, new businesses shouldn't treat their customers like this", when I calmly (and kindly) inform you that we will be working on closing up shop in 10 minutes...even though you knew that based on the hours on our doors.<br />
<br />
And, after each and every experience, I am left with an impression of who you are as a person. Similarly, you are left with an impression of who I am as a person.<br />
<br />
Or are you?<br />
<br />
I have this theory that something strange happens when you put a counter and a register between two people. Some sort of de-humanizing effect where suddenly the customer no longer sees the person on the other side of the counter as a human and more as an extension of the machine. And, since machines were created to make our lives easier and do not have any emotional response, those same characteristics are transferred onto the employee. So, suddenly, it's okay for you to scoff, or complain, or interrupt, or be quite rude to that strange, humanoid form. <br />
<br />
Meanwhile, (most of the time), the person on the other side of the counter is fully aware that you are a sentient human being with emotions and a life of your own. That is, after all, part of the point of customer service: to help you as an individual gain something that you'd like (whether that's a beverage, a pastry, or a new faux finish for a wall in your house). And, as I've been that person on the other side of the counter thousands of times, let me tell you that "Please" and "Thank You" aren't just magic words that you need to teach your children. They're magic words that need to be taught and <u>modeled</u> to your children. What good does it do to say "Whenever someone does something kind for you, you're need to say "Thank You"" to your child and then get angry and demand to know if there will be any more of (insert item here) today, or should you just go elsewhere.<br />
<br />
A trend I've also been noticing is that folks have begun to do the "Hi, how are you, I'd like....." phrase more frequently. They ask how you are, and don't stop to listen. I promise, I am <b>not</b> going to tell you about my woes and worries and joys and such when you ask how I am, so please stop to listen to my response or don't ask at all. However, if you do, and you stop to listen, it won't take long, and it will help form a better connection between you and I.<br />
<br />
After all, it is this better connection and getting to know you that makes me want to provide better service. It can be the difference between me offering to heat up your baked good in the oven a bit while I ring you up, or just giving you a croissant that, while still delicious, has been sitting a while.<br />
<br />
I know this post isn't the most organized...but it is something that I've been thinking about a lot as we head towards the summer months when I regularly work at the bakery. So, let's summarize.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>The take-away points:</u></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>- On either side of the counter, you will find a human. Please treat them as such.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>- The employee sees a lot of people everyday. We want your experience to be positive, but please understand that we get tired too.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>- Some things (minimum purchase amounts, for example) aren't our rules..but our employer's. We are enforcers of the rules because there are reasons to them. This doesn't mean that we deserve your ire.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>- "Please" and "Thank You" are magic words.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>- Listening when you ask us "How are you" is a magical action that can result in a better experience for everyone involved</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>- We want you to have a positive experience, please don't forget that. We aren't here to make your life difficult or hellacious.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Oh, and if I may, one final thing. Please check the hours of wherever you are going. It is a common courtesy to not walk in and make a mess 10 minutes before close. Similarly, pounding on the door 2 minutes before open will not get us to like you more. In fact, we're probably running around trying to get everything ready for you.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Patience is key.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Best,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
A</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-27645181401035843712013-12-29T11:33:00.000-08:002013-12-29T11:35:13.505-08:00ChildFree: A Teacher's PerspectiveI think, this Christmas, I killed my Grandma's spirit. We were all hanging around the kitchen table, conversing, and I got after her for spoiling my dog (seems silly, but I'd rather he wasn't taught that he could get whatever he wants, whenever he wants, just by begging). Shortly after, she joined us at the table, still making comments about how I scolded her for spoiling my pooch, when she said it. She said the one thing that I've never really wanted to talk with her (or any family, really) about. <br />
<br />
"I'm sure going to have a hard time not spoiling my great-grandchildren."<br />
<br />
I don't remember exactly what I responded with, as my blood was already up and I was getting nervous seeing this comment coming down the pipe about 200 yards away. I believe my retort was something like "well, they won't be my children, so it shouldn't be a problem".<br />
<br />
To which she responded:<br />
"Why don't you want children? You've had such a good life!"<br />
<br />
Thank God for my Aunt Julie who stepped to my aid and said, "What does her having a good life have to do with it?!"<br />
<br />
That little bit from Julie gave me the time to quickly collect my thoughts and (carefully) respond, "The idea of women needing to have children is a societal expectation that I don't agree with. Besides, I teach around 150 students a day, 8 hours a day, 4 days a week.......that's enough time for me."<br />
<br />
As you are probably well aware, I am an educator. More specifically, I am a music educator. More specifically yet, I am a K-8 music educator, and the only one in the school district. This means that, at some point, I have played a role in the life of every student in my district, all 300+ of them.<br />
<br />
And I love my job. I adore it. It is the perfect place for me to be at this time in my life. My heart is full with my students, my friends, and my family.<br />
<br />
And so is my time.<br />
<br />
An average day looks something like this:<br />
Wake up at 5:30am<br />
Breakfast<br />
Walk the dog from 6:30-7:30<br />
Drive in to school and start working at 8am<br />
Leave school at 4pm<br />
Come home, walk Koda (the dog) from 4:15-5:30<br />
Make dinner<br />
Complete Graduate School work<br />
Prepare for school the next day<br />
Talk with friends/read for pleasure/watch a movie (if time allows)<br />
Go to Bed (around 10)<br />
<br />
I don't see any space for extra priorities/responsibilities in that time. <br />
<br />
But, so far, these are all just external factors that influence part of my rational behind deciding not to have children.<br />
<br />
The main reason, honestly, is just that I don't have any desire. Some might say that I'm just "too selfish" or that "the Mommy feeling" will come soon enough. <br />
<br />
I don't think I've ever had that "Mommy feeling". I don't resent or regret that fact - it simply isn't there. I love working with kids. I <b>adore</b> teaching them. I find them inspiring, insightful, and honest. I believe that they, truly, are going to be the future. I want to help them become the best individuals they can possibly become.<br />
<br />
But, when I go home at night, I want my silence and my peace.<br />
<br />
I want to be able to plan things with friends for the weekend and not worry about the timeline. <br />
<br />
I want to think about the future and be able to plan trips and excursions - something that is hard (note: not impossible, I'll admit) to do with a child.<br />
<br />
I want to be selfish about what happens to my body. Pregnancy and birth take a lot out of a women's system and do incur permanent changes to her physicality (both positive and negative).<br />
<br />
Please don't misunderstand me. I'm not at all ungrateful for what my Mom and Dad have given up and gone through to raise me. They have made incredible sacrifices, and I am beyond thankful. But, they both also had an innate desire to want to be parents. My Mom had my name picked out for me before she had even met my Dad. <br />
<br />
I have no such desire. I think listening to one's gut and realizing this lack of desire is really important.<br />
<br />
And, honestly, I think I am a better teacher for acknowledging these aspects of my personality. I appreciate my students so much more, knowing that I won't have a child waiting when I go home. I become more carefree and creative with them, because I can draw from their energy and personalities. I laugh more heartily, because I love all of them equally and because they are all so special to me. They are, honestly, all my children, in a way. And, I think any mother could agree, 300 children is enough, more may just be excessive.<br />
<br />
Best,<br />
A<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
A (somewhat) <a href="http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2148636,00.html" target="_blank">recent issue of Time Magazine</a> came out exploring the idea of the "childfree" life. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-55965956387769989902013-09-27T10:42:00.001-07:002013-09-27T10:42:42.214-07:00W.E.B DuBoisThanks to Dr. O'Hara for presenting this quote to me:<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">"Give us grace, O God, to dare to do the deed which we well know cries to be done. Let us not hesitate because of ease, or the words of men's mouths, or our own lives. Mighty causes are calling us — the freedom of women, the training of children, the putting down of hate and murder and poverty — all these and more. But they call with voices that mean work and sacrifice and death. Mercifully grant us, O God, the spirit of Esther, that we say: I will go unto the King, and if I perish, I perish. Amen."</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">- W.E.B. Du Bois</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-7698157204309335652013-08-17T15:44:00.004-07:002013-08-17T15:45:35.170-07:00Hiking to Conquer?This is flowing from my fingertips without much forethought, so excuse me if it comes off, well....bitchy.<br />
<br />
I love living where I do because there are so many people that are into the outdoors around me at all times. Whether they are mountaineers or hippies, they all have this glow from being outside around them. Recently, though, I've begun to notice something in a few of these strangers and in a friend.<br />
<br />
How valid is the act of going for a hike when the motive behind it is just to see how far you can go in a day, or how high you can climb, or how sore you can make yourself the next day? Is that really "hiking"?<br />
<br />
Okay, Webster...let's have a look-see:<br />
"1. To go on a hike<br />
2. To Travel by any means"<br />
<br />
Alright. Not helpful. By those standards I could say that I hiked from my living room into the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal.<br />
<br />
Basically, I'm trying to differentiate the difference between going on a hike to say that you went on a hike and going on a hike as a means of discovering and fostering an appreciation for the area around you.<br />
<br />
This friend, as far as I can tell, has gone from doing the latter (hiking for a love of a nature) to the former (hiking to say "I hiked Baldy, I hiked the Ridge, I hiked 30 miles", etc). Not that I think the hiking as an accomplishment is entirely wrong, but I do think that you lose something from the hike when you do that. <br />
<br />
So, for anyone in this crazy Internet-ed world that might be reading this, what do you think? Am I valid in thinking that there is a difference between the two and that you lose some of the sacred aspect of hiking when you take it from purely meditative to focused mostly on exercise?<br />
<br />
Best,<br />
A<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-21053037433655040682013-06-08T09:19:00.000-07:002013-06-08T09:20:33.799-07:00Fine (as in, fee-nay...the musical term)It's the end of my first year of teaching!<br />
<br />
EFFFFFFFF YES.<br />
<br />
Sorry, but considering that 2 days before the last day, I got my arse chewed out by a parents, I couldn't be more ready for the end of the year.<br />
<br />
Wurrr wurr wurr....do you hear the call of the helicopter mom?<br />
<br />
Seriously, though, it has been a wonderful year and the good things far outweighed the mediocre/sub par. I am thankful for the wonderful staff that I work with and the great administration that I work for.<br />
<br />
But now, it's time for summer.<br />
<br />
I've gotten my raised garden bed built (nothing big, just a 3x3 with bean poles). I've got a list of what is left to do in the condo to make it "home"-ish. Although it really is pretty close to that feel anyway. I've got friends coming, probably family coming and a reunion and a 5k to attend.<br />
<br />
And I'm learning to fly fish!<br />
And perhaps, how to climb a really tall rock.<br />
<br />
And I'm playing on a softball team (and loving it).<br />
<br />
Chugachugachug....do you hear the train of contentment rolling your way?<br />
<br />
Best,<br />
AAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-73079930302167935582013-05-17T19:33:00.000-07:002013-05-17T19:33:03.556-07:00Tap RootsA Professor from college wrote a <a href="http://slowperc.blogspot.com/2013/04/all-mountains-are-underground-here.html" target="_blank">blog post about how important it is for people to put down "tap roots" in a place.</a> And, for the most part, a lot of it stuck with me.<br />
<br />
Which is saying something, I read a lot of blogs. I love learning from other people's thoughts.<br />
<br />
I digress, what I mean to say is that I feel like I'm starting to put taproots down in Bozo. It's taken a long while, but I think that can be attributed to working a full time job that seems to have a full time job attached to it just to prepare properly. In that situation, it's really hard to go out and get to know people. But I'm finally doing it.<br />
<br />
I'm starting a new job tomorrow at a place called The <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Wild-Crumb/141750962631997?fref=ts" target="_blank">Wild Crumb</a>. It reminds me of my favorite bakery in Sioux Falls. I'm delighted to be offerred to work for them as I think the opportunity to work around customers in a bakery setting will let me get to know more people just through regular exposure.<br />
<br />
It's also nice to pull a paycheck besides the regular one. I'm not money grubbing, but I am a food lover who really hates having to budget the quality of food I can buy. It's also nice to save for things that I've been wanting to get/do for a long time *cough*graduate school*cough*Iceland*cough*tattoo*cough*.<br />
<br />
I also feel like I've developed a sense of consistency and permanence at Monforton. The kiddos know that I will be back next year (yes!) and they seem generally pleased about it. It's really nice when a parent comes up to you and says, "We were talking about you this morning and "Bob" said that he really hoped you stayed, since it seems like they get new music teachers every year. "Bobbette" agreed and said that music teachers always seem to get pregnant."<br />
<br />
Fear not "Bob" and "Bobbette"....that world isn't even on my radar.<br />
<br />
Finally, I've joined a softball team! (Thanks to friends Smai and Jake) We're called "The Swingin' Pulaskis Too" and it's through Montana Conservation Corps. So, even though I don't work for them, I get to meet a lot of great people that probably feel the same way about things as I do. I know it's not good to surround yourself with similarity, but it's nice to surround myself with people that I feel are really open-minded and welcoming.<br />
<br />
We were supposed to have our first game tonight, but it got rained out. Next week!<br />
<br />
Anyway, I'm making contacts. The end of school is in sight, which is causing craziness right now, but looking around at all of the other teachers I can tell we're all thinking "the end is near, just push it"!<br />
<br />
Anyway, I am content....I am beyond content, I am very happy.<br />
<br />
Oh, and I love the new condo. It's such a seemingly perfect fit for me. Now just to finish painting and build myself a raised garden bed for the patio.<br />
<br />
Oh, and I'm thinking about getting a hammock too. I mean, what's relaxing without a hammock? :) I'm super pumped to just lean back into the hammock in the summer with a good book and my dog next to me. And then, after some reading, look out and see Hyalite Canyon.<br />
<br />
Life, I am so lucky. What on Earth did I do to deserve this?<br />
<br />
Best,<br />
<br />
AAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-15359711029041203962013-04-20T09:48:00.001-07:002013-04-20T09:48:23.038-07:00Life PlansLife plans.....which is really an oxymoron. It seems that every plan I make is usurped at some point, generally right before I'm supposed to reach the penultimate goal.<br />
<br />
<br />
But that's okay. I know that Buddhists really support being the the present, and that's something that I'm trying to work on (really, I am!). For example, this morning when I was brushing my teeth, I took time to really realize how different parts of my body were feeling. That toe I kicked into the wall a week ago? Not as painful, but it's hard to put shoes on sometimes (especially my favorite tennis shoes). My sinuses? They feel like there's a balloon under them, slowly expanding (thanks to my students, I suspect).<br />
<br />
It's a good way to get both outside of yourself and inside of yourself. Outside of your ego and desire to plan and inside of your body and how you are really feeling.<br />
<br />
Currently, my sinuses still feel like they're going to bust.<br />
<br />
Even with that mindset, I can't help but get excited for the future....if all goes according to what I'd like to see happen.<br />
<br />
I have applied to graduate school for next fall to get my Masters in K-12 Music Curriculum and Instruction. I've been told that getting in to the graduate school here isn't difficult, and that I would probably get in...which is great! The program should take about 5 semesters to complete, but if I did summers too, I could get it done quite a bit sooner. So, let's just say that puts me another 2-3 years in Bozeman. <br />
<br />
From there, I'd like to start looking at Doctoral programs around the nation. I love Bozeman. It's a beautiful place to live. But I don't know that this is my forever place. It could be, I could not be. I'm not entirely sure. But it's a great place for right now. Hopefully I can get in to a good Doctoral program (meaning I need to work my ass off on my Masters) and start also teaching Undergraduate Education courses. I think there's a big flaw in the education system today and a lot of it stems from not having a rigorous and involved Undergraduate Education degree requirement. Not that all Education Programs are bad, that's not what I'm saying! I'm saying that there is too much busy work and not enough synthesizing and higher level thinking going on in those classes. <br />
<br />
From there, I want to do research in education (and thus, publish), teach, and hopefully start getting involved politically. There are a lot of people that are making laws about education that have never been in a classroom...and there's something wrong with that. We don't let people not involved in the military make decisions about military actions, why should we do so for education? I'd love to be an advisor on educational policy and practice. <br />
<br />
Oh...and somewhere in there, I'd love to invest some money into buying land (when I find my "forever" home) and start a small CSA/farm. Hopefully, I could do it similar to what Dean at Three Hearts Farm is doing and invite local schools to come and learn about food and agriculture in an experiential way. My students were out there yesterday and they absolutely <i>loved</i> it. I think having that hands on experience is critical to developing a true understanding of the world around us (hence why I teach music). <br />
<br />
But, as always, this is completely up to adjustment...it has to be. There were no plans in there for my personal life, because, well...you just can't plan that. It seems like every time you do, something happens and it just doesn't work. I feel that, if I pursue my passions and interests, I'll probably meet someone along the way who feels similarly and perhaps it will work out. <br />
<br />
And, if not....there's always Koda.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Gi5ocfN8ZcE/UXLGnMROhBI/AAAAAAAAA88/R9QugNyKaTw/s1600/snowgirlanddog.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Gi5ocfN8ZcE/UXLGnMROhBI/AAAAAAAAA88/R9QugNyKaTw/s320/snowgirlanddog.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Life is full of surprises, and as long as one respects them and understands that they don't really have control over anything, I think life has the tendency towards beauty.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Best,</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
A</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-10356654421476633122013-04-01T18:31:00.000-07:002013-04-01T18:31:16.315-07:00DistanceSometimes I wish it were possible for the people I love to be nearer to me in the place that I love.<br />
<br />
Which, I know, is totally selfish. But I think they would love it too.<br />
<br />
Moving places can be tough. It's actually a lot tougher than I thought it would be. And, perhaps, it's just because I'm in an apartment that doesn't feel like my own in a town that doesn't yet feel like my own. I'm gradually making contacts, and I've even scored a part time job for the summer that should help keep me busy and meeting people. It's just terribly easy to fall into the negative way of thinking - when it doesn't need to be that way....ya know?<br />
<br />
But then you get in that mindset and suddenly you feel this giant existential crisis rear it's ugly face out at you and you wonder if you're even in the right place, doing the right job, living your life in the right way.<br />
<br />
Or if you should just go back home and live in your parents' basement.<br />
<br />
But, like my Dad reminds me, if I left, I may very well live the rest of my life asking "I wonder what would have been?". It's far better for me to stay here, see what will be, work in a job I am happy with, earn a higher degree, and <i>then</i> decide what the right move might be.<br />
<br />
Moving isn't easy.<br />
But sometimes I think moving back would be just as hard as moving out here was/is. Perhaps it's just a waiting game and eventually something will click.<br />
<br />
Best,<br />
AAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-19292132822695797642013-03-30T07:27:00.003-07:002013-03-30T07:27:42.091-07:00AnticipationWithin a month (or just over), I will be closing on the condo.<br />
<br />
I keep scheming ways to build a garden on the patio and all the different colors palettes I could use inside the condo.<br />
<br />
My hobbies have been clearly defined :)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-5446083190622324112013-03-28T22:06:00.000-07:002013-03-28T22:06:05.032-07:00RantI am fully aware the a "proper" blog generally consists of short to mid-length entries covering one topic.<br />
<br />
Well, call me improper.<br />
<br />
I think this entire mind-melt started while talking with fellow teachers over some drinks tonight. I firmly believe that teaching is one of the few professions that could potentially lead to alcoholism...if the people that did it weren't made of strong stock. Most of us enjoy one drink a week....or more....but I think we have good reasoning.<br />
<br />
You see, when you love the students you work for, you can't just "leave it at work". It's not one of those jobs. It is a job where, no matter how hard you try, you take something from it home. Every. Single. Day. Sometimes, it's great things. For example, I've been talking with my 5th grade band students about how they should always produce a sound so pure and beautiful that they get a ring from the room. Once a week, we work on making the room "sing" with a simple, balanced, Bb major triad. Not hard for a trained musician, but it has been a steep learning curve for these kiddos.<br />
<br />
Today, they did it on their first shot. And not only that, but they went on to impress me with their phrasing and their musicality in the piece we're currently working on.<br />
<br />
If I took moments like this home every day, I can't even create an analogy to talk about what I would do.<br />
<br />
Some days, though, you're battling everything. You have a Kindergartener that called another kid a "jerk" and then the other student cries....or bites the former student. You have at least one 1st grader that is so ADHD and ED that they should be seeing a counselor, but Mom/Dad don't believe in it, so he goes untreated and hurts not only himself, but others as well. You have some upper level elementary students who don't even know if their parents will be coming home tonight. Heck, they don't even know who will be taking them home or where home is for that matter. Then you've got an early Middle Schooler who gets picked on and, thus, upset to the point where they are pretending to gun down other students in the class.<br />
<br />
And, you know what, those things would still be happening, even in a perfectly managed classroom (which mine is not, yet). <br />
<br />
But you know what kills me the most? That a lot of these behavioral issues can be traced back to one source. That's right. The parents.<br />
<br />
I am so lucky and blessed to have the parents that I do. I realize that more and more every day when I see what some of my students have for home lives. I cannot believe that we, as a nation, allow for this to exist. That, in our fierce defense of "the pursuit of happiness", we focus so much on achieving our own happiness that we don't think about what the consequences of that happiness might be. A woman who is addicted to various drugs, doesn't have a home, doesn't have a steady job, decides that one night of sex will make her happy. She gets pregnant and has a baby. Do you think she is really going to be so concerned about the happiness of that child that she is going to give up what she <i>thought</i> made her happy?<br />
<br />
Remember, what you <i>think</i> makes you happy and what <i>actually</i> provides a source of happiness is vastly different.<br />
<br />
I love my students. I would do anything for them. I will defend them to the end of the Earth and back if that's what it takes to ensure a positive future for them. But there are some situations in which I simply cannot do anything. And it frustrates me. The feeling of helplessness one feels when they go to bed, knowing that they have a safe place to sleep for the night and will have breakfast in the morning while they have multiple students out there who aren't going to bed well fed, with a safe place to sleep, and who have no idea what fate meets them tomorrow, is a complete one.<br />
<br />
And yet, the most I can seemingly do for them every day during the week is give them structure, and attention, and rules, and expectations and let them know that <u>I KNOW </u>their life is a real shit pile right now, but that doesn't mean that they need to stay IN the shit. I'm realizing more and more that, besides all of the things that I just listed, I have the grand duty of providing my students with a sense of hope for not only their immediate lives, but for their future. I, and all of the other fantastic teachers at my school, <i>have to prove to them that they need to have hope in themselves because WE have hope in them</i>.<br />
<br />
This world is a messed up place and, at the center of it, is today's youth.<br />
How on Earth are we going to give them hope?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-6507904798618134592013-03-11T16:25:00.002-07:002013-03-11T16:25:48.960-07:00An Unnecessary UpdateI'm at home.<br />
<br />
I love being at home.<br />
<br />
I love feeling comfortable saying that I have two homes.<br />
<br />
At my Bozo home, I'm mostly anonymous. I can hide away in a coffee shop and not worry about running into people and talking. I can make meals when I want and how I want. I have a few close friends and a job that I can pursue passionately.<br />
<br />
At my SuFu home, I can choose locations based on the desired level of anonymity. My Mom makes dinner as a special treat for me whilst I'm home, and they're always delicious. I get to see friends that I've been missing, most often the scenario plays out like I've never left....which I love.<br />
<br />
As I sit in a big, comfortable recliner and look out the sliding glass door to my parents' beautiful yard. As I watch my dog nap in the sunlight after a full day of playing and getting muddy at the dog park. As I giggle when my Dad's snore wakes both him and my dog up.<br />
As all of these things happen - I feel so blessed and lucky.<br />
<br />
So many changes have happened within the past 2 weeks, and I wasn't sure if they were the right choices and changes at the time,<br />
but upon reflection and pulling myself away from the situations,<br />
upon examining them externally,<br />
I am happy with them.<br />
<br />
Within a month I will live in a condo that I will be paying off.<br />
My own place.<br />
Within a few months, the herbs and vegetables I have planted will begin to sprout and produce vegetables.<br />
Within those same few months, I can start getting on the bike again and hopefully begin biking to work.<br />
<br />
The future is bright. I am so lucky.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-29478258297125448012013-03-07T10:04:00.001-08:002013-03-07T16:22:30.161-08:00BlurghI was stressed.<br />
But my Dad is incredible and helpful and I am so thankful.<br />
<br />
Thanks Daddyo.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-22006943742506748332013-02-24T08:52:00.000-08:002013-02-24T08:52:24.516-08:00A Mental VaporizationAs of last Tuesday, life has taken a topsy-turvy route. Our landlord lost his job and, to compensate, is selling our apartment/condo. Meaning, basically, we have to get out. Combine that with some personal opinions and thoughts that needn't be discussed, I'm trying to figure out where to live. <br />
<br />
Basically, I'm trying to find the money balance and decide whether or not it is wiser to continue to rent or if I should outright buy a condo. <br />
<b>Condo</b><br />
Pros:<br />
- Finally own some land (in this area, the price of a home and land is only going to increase) = good investment<br />
- Have my own place that is closer to school (at least, the condos I'm looking at are closer) which would cut off some more travel time<br />
- Be able to have a small porch garden<br />
- Have some say on interior aesthetics (shallow, I know, but really important to me)<br />
- Could collect rent for mortgage if I move for a new job<br />
<br />
Cons:<br />
- Mortgage, bank, accounting, bleh...stuff that I have very little knowledge of<br />
- $$$<br />
- SOL if some appliance in the condo breaks<br />
<br />
<b>Apartment</b><br />
Pros:<br />
- Little concern if something breaks - call the landlord and they fix it<br />
- Increased mobility (if I want to move, I just move....sort of with a 6 mo. contract)<br />
<br />
Cons:<br />
- Rent disappears...aka: not investing<br />
- Further away from school route (longer commute)<br />
- Possibly noisy neighbors<br />
- Have to work with a landlord<br />
<br />
Add to that the following things:<br />
- <b>Graduate School</b> (do or do not) for K-12 Music Education Curriculum and Instruction (a step that I need to do if I am to become a professor of education someday...the long term goal) at MSU. <br />
Pros:<br />
1) It puts my current loans on hold, so I won't have to pay them until I finish<br />
2) I would move over a "lane" in the salary schedule (a pay raise)<br />
3) I can finally feel like I'm starting to learn again (my brain feels stale)<br />
4) I can get local tuition rates ($9,000) which is reasonable<br />
5) It's online, which means I can work at my own rate<br />
6) It would be a way to network with local teachers and suck their brains for information<br />
7) It would add to my value at Monforton (making it worth their while to try and keep me)<br />
8) It *should* make me more marketable (see Con #4)<br />
<br />
Cons:<br />
1) I would be accruing more debt...which should probably always be avoided (but, it pays off?)<br />
2) I would have to work hard and be sure to maintain a solid GPA (no more sluffing off)<br />
3) It would increase my work load to having things to do on the weekend and during the evenings in the weeks (decreased free time)<br />
4) Some schools avoid people with M.Ed's because of the move over one salary lane....M.Ed's can be expensive people to hire depending upon the district<br />
<br />
AND<br />
Lander, Wyoming has a job opening. For all those education major out there, if you can find a location in WY that you love....try to get a job there! The pay is outstanding (for educators), there is <b>no</b> income tax, and the property tax is low. <br />
<br />
I'm not expecting an offer on the position.....it was only open for a week and a half, which makes me think that they have someone in mind and that they were just making the position available to follow protocol. However, if they did offer, I would be conflicted. I love the students, staff, administration and community I work with/for...but it's barely a livable wage and more or less will require a part time job somewhere in the future. Lander, WY is similar to Bozeman, but much smaller (apx 7,000 pop) and more conservative. They do have NOLS, which is something I've been interested in for a while. The position is MS/HS Band...right up my alley.<br />
<br />
Like I said, I'm conflicted.<br />
<br />
But, the Pros/Cons list definitely helped (except for the Lander, WY situation...I don't know that it's possible to make a list like that when I don't know as much about the position as I would like to). It's looking like maybe I should opt for Graduate school (if I can swing it) and the Condo.<br />
<br />
Hey, thanks internet, for all your help.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-26314801812446089792013-01-26T18:22:00.000-08:002013-01-26T18:25:39.267-08:00Endemic EngagementsBefore you chew me out about the title of the post, please understand, I don't have anything <i>against</i> the people getting engaged right now. It's just something that I've noticed.<br />
<br />
What? You haven't noticed? <b>Everyone</b> seems to get engaged between the ages of 20-25. Okay, not everyone. In fact, <a href="http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-11-09-delayed-marriage_N.htm">the majority of women (at least) do get married around that age</a>. But that's changing. I think, perhaps, most of my friends and I are just part of the changing demographic.<br />
<br />
You see, all of this was brought about by the ever popular, Facebook. I'm guilty of having purely friendly acquaintances as "friends". Partially, because I forget that we made each other "friends" and partially because I suffer from this condition called curiosity. Either way, recently I've seen multiple friendly acquaintances get engaged. I am excited for them. I am happy for them. But I just don't understand.<br />
<br />
You see, the average life expectancy continues to get longer. The data continues to show that people who marry later in their lives (late 20's and early 30's) tend to have happier, more stable marriages. They also tend to think about divorce less. In my mind, if I knew I was with "the one", I would have no problem putting off marriage indefinitely. Increasingly so if it meant that the marriage was to be even more stable and happier if we waited longer. I mean, if they are "the one" then where are they going?<br />
<br />
(That being said, you have to believe in the concept of "the one" before any of what I just said is even viable.)<br />
<br />
Perhaps it also helps that I'm not baby crazy. But that's for another entry.<br />
<br />
In this past year, I have come to appreciate how rapidly and extensively a single person can grow and change. If I look at the "me" from senior year of high school to the "me" from senior year of college, they were completely different beasts in many ways. I like to think that most of the changes were for the better. Here's the catch though: the people that I dated in high school have also changed extensively and I would find it hard to believe that we would be "romantically compatible" as we are now. If you marry someone so young, especially while you continue to learn about yourself, I think you are risking:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
1) Merging identities and forgetting who you (as an individual) are - a terrible situation to me</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
2) Risking the chance that you will want to change in some ways, but find those ways are unsupported by your partner</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
3) Never realize the future that was possible for you if you maintained an autonomous persona.</div>
<br />
This doesn't mean stay out of relationships, obviously. I'd be a terrible hypocrite if I were to say that. But, I do believe there is something in marriage that changes the very nature of the relationship in ways. I also disagree with the mindset of "well, if we change and don't get along, we'll just get a divorce."<br />
<br />
My biggest fear is that some sort of engagement endemic starts. One friend gets engaged and then the others feel as though the need to do so as well, and quickly. Oftentimes, I think that the vast amount of social media we have at hand causes us to feel pressured when we needn't be. So, perhaps, before you start thinking about "when will I find my true love and get married and make babies and have a house with a white picket fence", you should think "am I aware enough of myself and what I want out of life to feel comfortable committing myself to another person through all the future changes that will happen, both good and bad".<br />
<br />
Best,<br />
A<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-16162189439751099202012-12-31T15:59:00.001-08:002012-12-31T16:00:11.753-08:00Resolution?I'm not completely sold on the idea of New Year's resolutions. As my Mom said, "I think that if you're living a life where something could be better, you should change it when you notice the need for change." (Not verbatim, but that's the drift)<br />
<br />
But, I do think there is something refreshing about saying "It's a New Year and what a perfect point in time to make a change for the better". Sometimes, people need that kick where other people are changing so they believe they can improve themselves too.<br />
<br />
Last year, I didn't have a resolution and I was fine. I think I'm going to do more of a goal than a resolution this year.<br />
<br />
From January 1st - December 31st, 2013 - I will not:<br />
- purchase coffee drinks (or coffee regalia)<br />
- purchase alcohol<br />
<br />
There are stipulations:<br />
1) When I go home or am traveling**, I am allowed coffee/beer/wine...as these libations can be a major source of discussion and information about an area's culture.<br />
**<i>traveling to mean being 300+ miles away from Bozeman</i><br />
2) If someone offers to purchase the drink for me, I will accept (if I want it).<br />
<br />
Really, what I'm going to do is put away the cash that I would otherwise spend on these items and save it. I would love to go to Iceland next summer or begin my first leg of Triple Crown hiking. Whatever I decide to do, the money will be used towards traveling.<br />
<br />
Have a fantastic New Year's Eve friends!<br />
<br />
Best,<br />
A<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-34057210188587460402012-12-14T19:50:00.002-08:002012-12-14T19:52:47.057-08:00An Elementary Teacher's Reaction to the News<br />
I am trying to rectify in my head the things that I should say regarding my feelings about the shooting in Connecticut. Part of me says to not say anything at all, because it is merely drawing attention to the killer, which may have been what he wanted..and the last thing we should do right now is give him a media sensationalized glory.<br />
<br />
But the other part of me is telling me that I need to type my thoughts out. So, I am going to do that. I will probably delete this post later, purely because sometimes things are better kept in the heart and left up to good conversation.<br />
<br />
<br />
But, for now, an expulsion.<br />
<br />
Incidents like this cause me to wonder about my (personal) belief that the universe is moving towards order instead of chaos. In my mind, there is far fewer things more heinous than killing. Even fewer are the things more heinous than killing children. Those children may have been our nation's next Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr., our next Gershwins and O'Keefes. Yes, the opposite is true as well. These youth could have been our next Dahmers, Raders, and Bundys.<br />
<br />
But, as I said, I like to believe the world is moving towards order. <br />
<br />
More than anything, I think most of those children would have grown up to be "productive" adults in society. They may have never accomplished anything of "paramount greatness", but in living a wholesome and loving life, they were living greatly enough.<br />
<br />
Beyond that, even the surviving children now have a lifetime to live thinking back to that day where they heard the "pop pop pop" and screaming of their classmates. Of hiding behind desks and in closets, wanting nothing more than to be held by their mother and father. Longing for some certification that what they were experiencing was only a nightmare and that they would wake up soon. These students will have to think about this and rationalize, in their young minds, why someone would do this to innocent individuals. The youngest will have to re-learn that killing and violence is not an okay way to handle anger and resentment. Students model what they see everyday. If a student sees a parent hugging a child, they are likely to be a loving student. If a student is exposed to the horrors of molestation and rape, the terrors of violence at a young age, they will act out in similar manners towards their peers.<br />
<br />
Today, so many young people were forced to grow up. To become elders in child bodies.<br />
<br />
As I was thinking about this post (and whether or not I was even going to write it) during my dog walking session with Koda, I was going to go on my rant against guns and weapons. How I don't believe in the "right to bear arms", because (to quote Dylan) "the times, they are a changin" and the reasoning behind having guns when this country was formed is no longer valid. But, that would lead to an upset and angry post, which are emotions that I have no desire to feel. So I will merely leave it at this,<br />
<br />
Guns were made to kill. Whether the killing was done to animals or humans, they were not tools of peace or compromise. They were a quick fix tool. I acknowledge that perhaps they have made life so much easier, but sometimes I think life it too easy and that the laziness that we are afforded leads to acts of ill will as well. Guns are a non-necessity, and should be treated as a tool used for those who have been properly trained and proven their reliability with them. They should be a last resort, and not a first.<br />
<br />
And even after all this typing, my mind continues to ask me "What would you do, if, next Monday when you were walking down the hall, the entirety of one of the second grade classes was to be dead and you lost your Kindergarten, 1st, and 2nd grade co-workers?"<br />
<br />
My heart aches. <br />
<br />
My friends, there is a call for reform in education. They say that we're not teaching our students enough to keep them up to date with the world and other nations. That may be true. That may be a problem. But, if we cannot raise our children to think like rational citizens, what does educating them more mean anyway? We need a reform in so many areas besides purely curriculum, and it's not all on the teacher's end either. We need a reform in the way we teach children to handle anger. We need a reform in the way we teach parents to talk with their children. We need a reform in the things that we allow children to watch and perceive as "okay". We need a reform in the way we <b>all</b> perceive the sanctity of life. <br />
<br />
My friends, we are a nation and a world in need of reform. How are you going to help the cause?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-21327014879532410572012-12-12T05:46:00.001-08:002012-12-12T05:46:32.097-08:00Video for Students<object width="640" height="360"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"></param><param name="movie" value="https://www.facebook.com/v/10151279562307432"></param><embed src="https://www.facebook.com/v/10151279562307432" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="1" width="640" height="360"></embed></object>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-86925026273634875102012-12-02T13:22:00.000-08:002012-12-02T13:23:02.837-08:00StruggleI love this blog because I can literally write almost whatever I want and if you want to read it, you will, and if you don't, you won't. I mean, I know that's how it is with <i>all</i> blogs, but this one I don't really care how many views I get. I appreciate them - but I'm not trying to make anything big out of it. Not quite the same as <a href="http://hikethecrown.blogspot.com/">Hike the Crown</a>. <br />
<br />
I learned a lot of good lessons yesterday, but the biggest takeaway lesson was on struggle. I hate struggling. I don't like not being proficient or better at things. I also know that I need to change that. Everyone struggles, and a lot of the time it's the people that have struggled the most significantly that have the best perspective. <br />
<br />
Yesterday, I struggled.<br />
Cross Country Skiing kind of struggled.<br />
<br />
You see, coming from the Upper Great Plains, I'm used to flat...so in my mind...there wasn't really a trick to cross country skiing because it was flat.<br />
<br />
I tried XC yesterday on hills. Not as easy.<br />
Going up was fine. It was a challenge to synchronize movements, but once that was down...no big.<br />
<br />
Going downhill, however, was a tricky trick. I fell probably about 10-12 times in a matter of 2 miles. That definitely takes the ego out of a girl. (Something that is good for me, I think). <br />
<br />
The process of falling and getting up also taught me a lot about myself. I get angry pretty quickly after a few failures. I think by about the fourth fall I yelled at Nathan "I'm not having FUN anymore."<br />
But, I had to get back up...I mean, how else would I get down. And I'll be darned if I let a few pieces of wood strapped to my feet beat me. So I got up, and by the end I could go down slight turns and slight hills without falling.<br />
<br />
But, jeez, the bruise on my knee from one biff reminds me of the struggle it took to get there. It's good, though, to struggle. It makes the hot chocolate at the end so much more worth it. :)<br />
<br />
<br />
Best,<br />
AAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-60121744756895891552012-11-25T19:21:00.003-08:002012-12-02T13:23:42.087-08:00Happiness?Yes. The question mark was intentional.<br />
<br />
While at home over the holiday (which I loved, I miss my family so much) the conversation of happiness came up. What makes a person happy? Can anything actually <i>make</i> a person happy or is it an intrinsic choice? <br />
<br />
Then Nathan and I talked about it briefly tonight. <br />
<br />
Honestly, it confuses the snot out of me. Right now, I have a highly intrinsically rewarding job, but it's also highly stressful. I feel like it's affected my personal relationships, and I'm not necessarily okay with that. Most people have been exceptionally understanding, and I appreciate that. Does the stress go away though? What happens if the angst cause by the stress begins to outweigh the intrinsic pleasure?<br />
<br />
How does one even know what they're supposed to do in life?<br />
Or is anyone even <i>supposed</i> to do something? Perhaps it's all a shot in the dark and there isn't this sense of pre-determination/fate that guides a person to the "right" career choice.<br />
<br />
And how do you know when to balance the pleasure your job brings isn't enough to compensate for the unhappiness the life outside of work brings?<br />
<br />
This isn't to say that I am unhappy, or anything of the sort. But the phrase "stuck" was brought up tonight and it got me thinking about how many people (myself included) often feel "stuck" in their situation.<br />
<br />
I'm ready to go home, again.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1384567567500108066.post-3327622929565807122012-11-20T08:52:00.002-08:002012-11-20T08:52:36.041-08:00A Selfish PostThis post doesn't ask any questions. In fact, it's a stereotypical post for this time of year.<br />
<br />
No, it's not a food post...that'll come later on Thursday.<br />
<br />
It's the Thankful Post.<br />
<br />
I was out at the dog park with Koda last night. Under the stars, north of town at the foot of the Bridger mountain range - I could see down onto Bozeman. For the first time since I've been here, I felt utterly content to be where and how I am. I have finally gotten used to the things that previously annoyed me (Montanan's, at least in Bozeman, are fantastic at pulling the "rolling stop"). And, while I still don't have a core group of friends, I do have friendly acquaintances and people I could call up and get a drink with on the weekends if I wanted to. <br />
<br />
I live in a cozy apartment that is spacious enough that Nathan, Koda, and I can all be in it and still be in separate rooms if we want to get away from each other. That apartment is right next to a beautiful little pond that I get to walk my dog around regularly. That pond is surrounded by trees (one of my favorite types) which also block out the businesses surrounding it, so all I can see is Hyalite Canyon in the distance. And, when I do come home from those dog walks, and Nathan is home - we get along. We don't fight, we have discussions. He lets me indulge in my cooking/baking hobby, even if it does mean that the electric/heat bill goes up a bit. I only hope I give him as much freedom as he gives me.<br />
<br />
(Nathan, if you're reading this, and I don't....let's have a discussion).<br />
<br />
At work, I have an incredibly supportive staff and administration that are willing to send me to conferences so I can continue to be a better educator. They give me advice and they have welcomed me with open arms. They are okay with the fact that I do things a little bit differently and don't burn me at a stake every time I propose something that doesn't make the most sense.<br />
<br />
While I haven't gotten to know too much of the community surrounding my school, it also seems supportive. I'll know more after the Christmas concert.<br />
<br />
As I'm writing this, staring out the window at the kiddos on the playground, I feel calm and content. I am Thankful to be working a job I enjoy. I am Thankful to be able to afford to have food on the table every night...and food that I made. I am Thankful that I can go for hikes on the weekend and really get away from people. I am Thankful that I can still indulge my introverted-ness. <br />
<br />
I am Thankful that I have a family that supported me moving away and starting my own career somewhere else. I am Thankful that my family and I are comfortable saying "Love Ya" to each other. I know a lot of families where that's seen as "odd" - and I don't get it.<br />
<br />
More than anything, though, I am Thankful that I get to go home tomorrow (on a plane! Not driving!) to see that family and spend time together.<br />
<br />
Hey, and Thanks for letting me indulge in a Thankful post.<br />
You know, studies have shown that you can significantly improve your happiness by stating even just one thing that you are Thankful for every day. Whether it's the season or not.<br />
<br />
Best,<br />
A Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06758004823860502496noreply@blogger.com0