Sometimes I wish it were possible for the people I love to be nearer to me in the place that I love.
Which, I know, is totally selfish. But I think they would love it too.
Moving places can be tough. It's actually a lot tougher than I thought it would be. And, perhaps, it's just because I'm in an apartment that doesn't feel like my own in a town that doesn't yet feel like my own. I'm gradually making contacts, and I've even scored a part time job for the summer that should help keep me busy and meeting people. It's just terribly easy to fall into the negative way of thinking - when it doesn't need to be that way....ya know?
But then you get in that mindset and suddenly you feel this giant existential crisis rear it's ugly face out at you and you wonder if you're even in the right place, doing the right job, living your life in the right way.
Or if you should just go back home and live in your parents' basement.
But, like my Dad reminds me, if I left, I may very well live the rest of my life asking "I wonder what would have been?". It's far better for me to stay here, see what will be, work in a job I am happy with, earn a higher degree, and then decide what the right move might be.
Moving isn't easy.
But sometimes I think moving back would be just as hard as moving out here was/is. Perhaps it's just a waiting game and eventually something will click.
Best,
A
I think I have at least a medium-sized understanding of how you feel. Contemplating moving puts me in a funk. Of course, it is exciting to think about exploring a new place. On the other hand, why leave a good thing?
ReplyDeleteThings like this always remind me of a bit in the Chronicles of Narnia.
"To know what would have happened, child?" said Aslan. "No. Nobody is ever told that."
"Oh dear," said Lucy.
"But anyone can find out what will happen."